Blog suspended

After six years and 100 posts, I’m suspending adding more to this blog for a few months. I’ll continue to write for the Put Yourself Across blog on an ad-hoc basis, and for my latest project How to Be Perfect… in your own way.

The reason for my withdrawal from this blog is that I’m writing a book on this subject, which is taking up a lot of my creative energy. It’s time to revisit that ebook, update and deepen it, and make it into a proper book that will guide readers through every aspect of public speaking.

I’ll let you know when it’s finished!

In the meantime, do join us on the Public Speaking Skills Facebook page. We’re a thriving community of over 5,000 worldwide.

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Public speaking: what if my mind goes blank?

Going blank is one of the classic public-speaking nightmares. Fear of it is responsible not only for a lot of anxiety on the part of speakers but also for some awful solutions (such as reading a script). Prevention is certainly better than cure, so let’s look first at how to avoid your mind going blank while you’re making a speech or presentation.

How to prevent your mind going blank

The first step is to create your talk in a way it will be easy to deliver (see How to Write a Speech and How to Write a Presentation on my website).

Once you’ve got your talk as you want it, rehearse it until you no longer have to think about finding the words. Depending on the circumstances and the length of your speech or presentation, this may take a long time. Rehearse your whole talk, of course, but pay particular attention to your opening and closing sections.

Really, do NOT skimp on rehearsal! You may be doing OK in your living room but don’t underestimate the difference it makes having 50 pairs of eyes on you. If you’re resisting rehearsal, this indicates you need to keep going: you’re resisting it because it’s still hard work. Keep going and, sooner or later, you will reach a breakthrough, when you suddenly know it’s going to be fine. One feature of that tipping point is that rehearsal no longer feels like such a chore.

Use notes to guide you and keep you on track. Bullet points on discreet cards are a totally different thing from a script and they save a great deal of stress. Public speaking should never be a feat of memory, because that takes up energy you need for connecting with your audience.

The practical preparation will give you a lot of confidence but do also take some time to get into the zone psychologically. Work on staying grounded and reminding yourself you’re in control.

Make sure you’re prepared well in advance of the day, partly because another important element of success is to get enough sleep. I don’t know about you but when I’m tired, I often find my mind goes blank in normal conversation, let alone when I’m presenting.

What to do if your mind goes blank

Do remember four, five, six seconds feels a lot longer to you at the front than it does to the audience. For many reasons, you need to speak slowly and pause between your points anyway, so a slightly extended pause while you gather your thoughts may well pass unnoticed. Stay calm and let the words come to you.

mind-goes-blank

Your notes will prompt you as to what you wanted to say. If how to express it is eluding you, stay calm and simply make that point from first principles. It may not be as smooth as what you’d prepared but you’ll get the point across.

If you’re speaking for more than a minute or two, it’s normal to take a sip of water from time to time, so take advantage of this. The seconds this buys you will probably be enough for you to find the words you’re looking for.

If all else fails, stay calm (this advice recurs for good reason!) and be honest. Tell the audience you’ve lost your thread and play for time until you find your way again. As long as you stay calm, cheerful and confident, no-one is going to mind this; in fact, they’re likely to be admiring you for the brave and competent way you’re handling the glitch.

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How to influence an audience

influence-audienceWhen your job is to influence an audience, to persuade them to change their ways or to follow a particular course of action, your public speaking skills need to be well honed. More than communicating a message, you’re motivating people to do something – and for that, you really have to connect with them.

When you’re preparing a persuasive speech, it’s even more important than usual that you know your audience. Who are they? What do they know about the subject? What is their attitude? What are the obstacles – practical and psychological – they would have to overcome in order to do what you want them to? The answers to these questions will help you work out how to pitch your message most effectively.

You also need to know exactly what your message is, what you want your audience to do. Any ambiguity will cause confusion and undermine your effectiveness. Keep it simple and clear: this is not the time for nuance, nor for a lot of detail. If you feel details would be useful, put them in a handout, not in the talk.

Whatever the circumstances, treat the people you’re talking to as your equals: they may not know anything about the subject in which you’re an expert, but that doesn’t mean they’re stupid. If you patronise them, or if they feel manipulated, your speech will be counter-productive.

Speak in language your audience can understand and relate to, use examples from their world. Bring the subject to life for them. Although your argument must be sound and logical, that’s not what’s going to swing it for you: it’s crucial to engage their emotions. Influence is about hearts, not minds.

Prepare a vivid talk with a strong ending and a clear call to action. Remember that, however serious your subject is, your talk doesn’t have to be heavy. A bit of levity, sensitively conveyed, will support your cause.

Don’t write a script but create your speech by saying it out loud – this way, you know what it will sound like to the audience and you know you’ll be able to deliver it easily. Then rehearse it until you no longer have to think about finding the words. Again, this is even more important than it normally is, because you really need all your energy and focus for connecting with the audience.

You must respect your audience if you want to influence them, but you also need them to respect you. You are the expert here and your demeanour must reflect that; otherwise there’s no reason for the audience even to listen to you, let alone be persuaded by you. It’s not about being superior, it’s about demonstrating you’re worthy of their attention. You’ll achieve this by:

  • speaking slowly and pausing between your points
  • standing firm and not fidgeting
  • making eye contact with every member of your audience (or as many as you realistically can).

It goes without saying that you believe in the message you’re communicating, so let your sincerity shine.

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A drink to calm your nerves? Don’t do it!

wedding-toastParticularly if they’re due to speak at a wedding or a dinner, a lot of my clients suggest a stiff drink is the way forward, to give them courage to deliver the speech. They’re not serious, they know it’s a bad idea, but they’re longing for some magic potion to take away the fear. I fully sympathise with this but I implore you not to pin your hopes on booze.

Alcohol makes the problem worse. If you’re nervous about making a speech, what exactly is it you’re afraid of? Forgetting what you wanted to say? Doing something silly, such as tripping over the microphone cable? Blurting out something unfortunate you didn’t mean to say? All these become far more likely if you’ve had a drink. Instead of dulling your senses, you need to be keeping all your wits about you.

A recent German study has shown that alcohol impairs performance of public speaking. But I think we all intuitively knew that anyway.

If you were asked to climb the sheer face of a mountain, would you have a drink to calm your nerves? Successfully scaling that height relies on physical and mental skills and techniques, not on numbing your fear. It’s the same with public speaking.

This is good news and here’s why:

Public speaking is scary only if you don’t know what you’re doing. If you stand up in front of 10 or 100 people and you don’t know what you’re going to say, that is objectively scary – so don’t put yourself through that! By preparing and practising thoroughly, you’ll be in control and know exactly what you’re doing, so there will be no reason to feel nervous. Driving a car is scary if you’ve never done it before, which is why people learn how to do it before they set out on the roads alone. Learning the techniques and then practising them soon dispels any fear. And it’s well known that alcohol doesn’t help you to drive better.

To find out how to prepare and deliver a great speech, there’s a lot of information and advice in the Public Speaking Skills section of my website. Put the work in beforehand and, on the day, you’ll be free to enjoy talking to the audience.

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Becoming a motivational speaker

As a public-speaking coach, I’m approached more and more by clients who want to build a career as a motivational speaker. It’s a growth industry and, on the whole, I think that’s great. People sharing their experience, expertise and wisdom for the benefit of others has got to be a good thing. I’ve learnt a huge amount from motivational speakers such as Jack Canfield and Brené Brown (unfortunately, only through downloads – I’d love to see them live one day!) and I’m encouraged by how accepted it is now to address psychological and emotional issues in public forums.

My only reservation is the part about for the benefit of others. For some speakers I’ve seen, this has clearly not been the priority. In the same way as a lot of stand-up comedians are not as funny as they think they are, a lot of people setting out as motivational speakers are not as wise or inspiring as they imagine. If you’re thinking of becoming a motivational speaker, do some soul-searching first to find out what, well, what your motivation is. If it’s about your desire to get on stage, I recommend you join a drama group or a storytelling circle or something, to meet that need. Then, if you still want to, see about becoming a motivational speaker after you’ve spent some time in the limelight.

As with all public speaking, a good motivational talk is designed entirely with the audience in mind. If you have experience or knowledge that people would find useful, do please stand up and share it – but don’t assume the public will be interested in hearing about your life just because you feel like talking about it.

motivational speakerIf you have got something important and useful to say, becoming a motivational speaker is an excellent way to spread your message. The power of oratory and rhetoric has been recognised for millennia and, despite all our modern technology, simply talking to people remains one of the most effective methods of stirring hearts and minds.

Apart from being approached for coaching, the reason this is upmost in my mind at the moment is that I have recently been persuaded to call myself a motivational speaker. The two talks I give on a regular basis (Life Lessons from Public Speaking and How to Be Perfect… in your own way) are, I suppose, motivational, though I still prefer the term stand-up psychology.

If you’re going to be a motivational speaker, be prepared to invest a lot of time and energy in creating and honing your talk. This isn’t some here-today-gone-tomorrow presentation, it’s the distillation of your knowledge and experience into pure, accessible, memorable form. And it’s a performance, which needs to be well judged and well paced, leading your listeners on a journey of discovery. It’s not a trivial undertaking: How to Be Perfect… took me about a year to get right.

You don’t need to be educated or erudite to be a fantastic motivational speaker. All you need is a solution to a problem and the passion to share it.

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When you do need to ad-lib

The secret to successful public speaking is thorough preparation. A genuinely impromptu speech or presentation is fraught with danger, as is deciding to embellish your talk in the heat of the moment. As I’ve said before on this blog, beware of ad-libbing – unless it’s absolutely necessary.

Distracted public speaker

If there’s a distraction, acknowledge it

Circumstances in which you may need to improvise include technical failure, external interruption (such as a pneumatic drill starting up outside your window), heckling and those nasty moments when you sabotage your own performance by tripping over a cable or dropping the microphone. However well prepared we are, we can never fully eliminate the unexpected and if it happens, on a big enough scale, we have to react to it. Falling off the stage and carrying on with your presentation without breaking your syntax is impressive at one level but, at a more important and realistic level, your audience will no longer be listening. Taking a moment to address what has happened gives everyone a chance to process it. There’s no point in going on until people are able to give you their attention again.

Sometimes life appears to be illustrating your talk and in these cases failing to make some comment to that effect is at the very least a wasted opportunity. If your fall off the stage occurs as you’re discussing health and safety, this irony cannot be ignored. At the Pint of Science festival, a speaker’s obliviousness to a similar irony made the difference between making a strong, memorable point and, as it turned out, just being a bit amateur about his public speaking.

The purpose of being really well prepared and rehearsed is precisely so you won’t be oblivious to what’s going on around you. Once you know your material so well that you don’t have to think about finding the right words, you’re free to connect with the audience. Contrary to what many speakers seem to think, public speaking is not about just getting your stuff said, whether anyone is listening or not. It’s about communicating a message. If circumstances are hindering communication, it’s your job as speaker to sort that out. If you find yourself in a parallel process, unexpectedly illustrating your message, calmly and briefly articulating that can turn a distraction to your advantage.

 

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What can public speakers learn from a department store?

Is there anything on this rack for me?

Sir Ian Cheshire, Chairman of the department-store chain Debenhams, was talking on the radio about why profits are down. He said one of the reasons is the shops have been offering too many items for customers to buy. A lot of choice may seem like a good thing but customers are overwhelmed by the amount of stock and struggle to sift through it all to find what they want. They prefer less stuff, clearly displayed.

When I heard this, I was immediately struck by the parallel with public speaking. To give our message the best chance of being heard, understood and remembered, here are three lessons we can learn from the retail industry:

  1. It is not the audience’s responsibility to rummage through a lot of waffle to discover the message that’s in there somewhere. It is the speaker’s responsibility to identify what is most interesting and relevant to this audience and to present it clearly. Be focused and concise: less is more!
  2. In order to perceive and appreciate what’s on offer, people need time, space and the right environment. Make sure conditions are right for your audience to be able to concentrate on what you’re saying (they can easily hear you, no distractions, etc), then speak slowly and pause between your points. If a shop is overstuffed with goods, customers can’t properly see what’s for sale and will soon get fed up. A tightly packed talk delivered at high speed will have the same effect.
  3. Present your message with confidence and enthusiasm. Look at the difference between a charity shop and a car-boot sale. Second-hand products are second-hand products, but the charity shop makes them seem so much more attractive. The purpose of your talk is not to off-load a pile of stuff you want to get rid of (although to listen to some speakers, one suspects this is indeed their primary aim) but to give your audience a positive experience and something worthwhile to take home with them.
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